Some of us yearn for a less anxious life, but we can’t seem to sustain enough calmness to be content. t seems that even when we are less anxious, that isn’t enough. We want to be free from anxiety. So we meditate, we exercise, we watch calming videos, we listen to calming music, and we seek out help (friends, therapists, books, self-help videos, drugs). We want to be free from all anxiety.

During the last year, most of us had an abundance of anxieties. Fear of COVID, isolation, sheltering-in-place, economic losses, political divisions, sickness and deaths of people we love, fake news, and the denial of science. We were carrying huge amounts of anxiety—the weight of which is only now becoming apparent as some of the anxieties abate. For me, 2020 was a year of lots of anxiety—and I became accustomed to the burden. It is amazing how much we can bear when we have to.

But now, some of the 2020 anxieties are retreating. A new administration in Washington DC, economic relief package coming, 3 kinds of vaccines being rolled out, and COVID deaths and new cases on a downward trending slope (locally). It seems that shedding the some of the 2020 anxieties should bring a sense of calmness.

But now we are filling our anxiety cups with fresh sources. How long will a vaccine last? What about the COVID variants? Can I safely meet with friends and family? Why is the vaccine rollout going so poorly and unevenly? What about BLM? What about climate change? What are we going to do about the un-housed population crisis? What about the immigration crisis at our southern border?

Perhaps our goal should not to be anxiety free, but just be less anxious. Our anxiety cup can’t be empty—that’s not how we are wired to survive. Anxiety is beneficial. It is actually useful when we are placed in a worrying situation as it encourages us to perform at our best. In evolutionary terms, it is part of our “fight or flight” response. But like food seasoning—a little enhances and too much ruins.

In seminary I was first told to cultivate a “non-anxious presence” to be an effective minister. All that did was generate a sense of failure and guilt. I could seldom achieve a “non-anxious presence” whether I was alone or in a group. Then, a mentor explained that you don’t need to be a non-anxious presence—all you need is to be the least anxious person in the room—that is enough. I found this goal was far easier to achieve. I can’t be anxiety free—I’m not wired that way. But I can work on being less anxious.

I hope you don’t have a goal of an empty anxiety cup. That goal will elude most of us. I never achieved it, so I changed the goal. I have less anxiety since I stopped trying to have no anxiety…………. Yours in shared ministry…………Russ