I recently read an article in the latest UU World Magazine titled “Nothing We Do Will Be Perfect.” https://www.uuworld.org/articles/let-perfectionism-go
Though the article discusses (with a complex and wordy approach) the struggle that our typical UU congregation and leaders have with dismantling white supremacy and racism—for me the article’s advice addresses a danger for many other issues that face a congregation like ours. That danger is our addiction to perfection and judging our actions (and the actions/inactions of others) on being successful or a failure. To quote a line from the article:

“Underneath the will to mutuality, there is a will to perfection, a will to be personally justified, a will to be effective, and, in the end, through all of our carefully calibrated strategies, a will to win the game that was never meant to be a game at all.”

This line started me thinking—what initiatives and endeavors at UUFSCC do we consider a game that we need to win? Higher attendance? Increased pledging? Increased volunteerism? Social Justice congregation wide? More RE classes?

I’m not saying that these efforts are a game or that we should stop—but I do think we need to refrain from judging ourselves on how “successful” we are in these efforts when there is no “end” to them. Many of us evaluate our life’s worth by distinct measurable accomplishments—be those university degrees, home ownership, net worth, happy children, or exotic vacations. We are amiss if we use these criteria in our religious works.
Here is another line from the article on this perspective:

“I can acknowledge that white people in predominantly white churches generally don’t like to play games that we cannot win. We don’t like to follow strategies that we did not set. We don’t like to enter vulnerably into work at which we will not definitively succeed. As white leaders in the liberal church, our historic theology and lived experience of privilege have doubly conditioned us to these tendencies, and it too often results in our retreat into defensiveness or resignation.”

If we set ourselves up with perfection as our goal in our efforts, likely we’ll “retreat into defensiveness or resignation” because the work we are taking on will not end in our lifetime. The tasks we’re taking on are that big—building the beloved community and transforming ourselves and our world. These goals cannot be achieved by a detailed project plan, flow chart, or process diagram. These are inspirational goals but won’t be achieved by you or me. Our efforts may contribute towards the goals, but we’ll not reach them. If we ever DO reach them, then our dreams were too small—or we didn’t pay attention along the way to see what else needed doing. We must not work on these goals in order to succeed, but we must work on them because it is the right thing to do at this time.

If our activities are in harmony with our Vision and Mission, then we know we’re heading in the right direction. The danger of applying perfection to our larger goals (Vision and Mission) is that if we don’t see or sense “progress” toward our larger goals fast enough—does that mean we have failed? Should we consider our lives and the church meaningless if we don’t live to see the Beloved Community?

But if we can apply this approach to our “bigger picture” goals, should we apply this perspective to our action items, to do lists, and initiatives as well? If a perfectionist approach (win or lose) should not be applied to our Vision and Mission, then should we apply it to our ongoing monthly efforts? Should we be ashamed or remorseful when we fall short, disappoint someone, or don’t do what we said we would? This is where a balance between what we want to be done and what can actually be done is essential. I’m not saying to stop trying. I’m not saying to stop dreaming. I’m not saying to disengage. I am saying to be gentle on yourself and each other in our endeavors. We are working on BIG goals through our smaller efforts.

As a church, we don’t exist to succeed. We exist because we’re called to a cause much greater than ourselves—and to act toward that calling. This is the right thing to do. The measure of our success is not if we achieve perfection, but if we are transformed to a meaningful life along our journey.………… ……………..in shared ministry…………..Russ