By Ministerial Intern Sangye Hawke
Anti-racism scholar and activist Tema Okun (www.dismantlingracism.org) writes: “The list of white supremacy characteristics includes: perfectionism, a sense of urgency, defensiveness, valuing quantity over quality, worship of the written word, belief in only one right way, paternalism, either/or thinking, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, individualism, belief that progress is bigger and more, a belief in objectivity, and claiming the right to comfort.”

We all see elements of these characteristics in ourselves because it is part of this dominant culture. Any aspect taken to the extreme is detrimental to the community. This is why the Buddha teaches the path of the Middle Way, moderation and mindful attention, in speech, action, and thought and to question the purity of our own intent before taking action. This is why taking a breath, a pause, in life is so beneficial, because the characteristic of urgency (a result of either/or thinking) limits options, stifles creativity, and closes the doors of the mind. Being UUs we pride ourselves on being open minded and diverse. We open doors, not close them.

In the next few weeks, as you open the door to this work, you will be challenged to think differently. This is a serious and sacred journey, a spiritual practice. Like all new beginnings it can be scary and challenging but also refreshing and exciting. You will discover deep understanding coupled with terrifying reveals. You will also grow and change beyond what you imagined this time in your life to be. Maybe you will discover that you have always known these self-evident truths. Any experience we engage with leaves us with an understanding even though we may feel that we cannot “grok” it all. (my ‘70s science fiction love is showing).
Pema Chodron reminds us to “Start where you are”. That’s all. There is nothing in you to ‘fix’ or to finish at this very moment. Honor yourselves during this undertaking. You may feel confused. Talk about it. You may feel rage. Name it out loud. You may have questions that can’t be answered. Ask them anyway. That is what participating in transformation and liberation of yourself, your community, and the world looks like.
I have been asked why I will not participate in the facilitation of this training. Well, the answer is a lot simpler than many think. It’s not because I am a person of color or a person you can demand answers from about “what is wrong.” It’s about enabling the cultural privilege that demands answers, it’s about letting cultural privilege distract you with feelings of guilt and tears when your feelings and actions should be directed to the builders and maintainers of the oppressive systems. And those people, those builders of oppressive systems are not me. Apologizing to me does not change the system because you, personally did not put me in harm’s way.

Let me put it another way. During the early stages of COVID19 my colleagues and friends of color witnessed panic across the white culture. When we engaged our white friends about the source of their anxiety, the answer was simple and clear. They felt targeted and unsafe. The situation was out of control. No one would help them. They were on their own.

Our answer: Welcome to sharing our everyday experience of living. Let’s build bridges of understanding because we are truly all together now. Yes, Beloveds, you’re UUs. This is what we do!
Some “after class” suggestions:

DO:
• Be outside or turn on a nature program. Be with your beloved non-human companion.
• Write down what’s bothering you and offer it to the fire, water, or wind.
• Put your feet in dirt or sand or somewhere that touches Earth.
• Dance if you can. Sing as you are able. Create as is welcome.
• See your friend of color as who they ARE not what you feel they REPRESENT
DON’T:
• Consult or apologize or cry to a friend of color.
• Obsess on guilt
• Blame anyone, especially yourself
• Minimize your feelings, another person’s feelings, or actions
• Be suspicious of gatherings comprised only of people of color. No one is suspicious when you gather as a group.